why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
its liver damage thursday
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
