Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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