Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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