I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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