I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
