My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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