Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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