i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
you will always have a special place in my vag
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
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