You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
