dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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