11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Nicole vs. Life
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
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