Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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