Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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