I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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