doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
