I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
