I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
do nipples grow back?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
