She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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