I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
