i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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