The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
