Small penises have feelings too.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I will pee on everything he values.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
