the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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