so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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