Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
farters have to be the big spoon...
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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