If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
