I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
