yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
