tell your sister to shave her snatch
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
