This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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