whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
