so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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