I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
