At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize