just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
