ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
