Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Do you still have your period?
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
