oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
you never un-have a 4some
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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