I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Two words: nipple clamps
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