i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
