You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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