I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
