She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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