I've blown a few things in my day
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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