Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize