i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize
