The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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