Acid is not a monday night drug
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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