I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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