then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
