I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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