Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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