I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
can u get pink eye on your cock?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
