then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
