Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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