Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
The dick lei will go down in squad history
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
