So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
