Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
