Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize