whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
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