Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
