So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
