so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
