They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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