Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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