My first STD was from a foam party
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
