The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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