it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
